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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in eba13's LiveJournal:

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    Sunday, April 30th, 2006
    1:33 am
    nobody wants to go to the rally for darfur genocide awareness tomorow(today)
    I sad.
    anyone who wants to can post here, i might check it sometime in the late morning before i head out, i can give rides.
    dont think anyones gonna post though.
    Saturday, April 15th, 2006
    12:07 am
    Heading back to VA tomorow, had enough of SC.
    Thursday, April 13th, 2006
    8:06 pm
    L'etranger
    I finished reading "The Stranger" last night. funny how much like Mersault I am.
    Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
    10:48 pm
    untitled, written 4/4/06
    I love your fat,
    Even more, and not because
    You hate it.

    Not as your mother loved it,
    Who whipped you into anorexic frenzy.

    I love to hold on to your fat,
    As you bitch about your ugly body.

    And I want to hold tight
    Your mouth, and nose,
    Shut you up.

    Suffocate you, and you start to blue,
    Such a lovely color.

    And we would make love
    At the edge of life and death,
    Where all things too are blind.

    You could forget about your shell,
    For a time.
    And let me into your soul.


    comments/suggestions welcome.
    Monday, March 6th, 2006
    6:04 pm
    maybe ill post my own writing at some point, not yet
    Through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes
    I can barely define the shape of this moment in time
    and far from flying high in clear blue skies
    I'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide

    If you negotiate the minefield in the drive
    and beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
    and if you make it past the shotgun in the hall
    dial the combination open the priesthole
    and if I'm in I'll tell you what's behind the wall
    There's a kid who had a big hallucination
    making love to girls in magazines
    he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith
    could anybody love him
    or is it just a grazy dream

    And if I show you my dark side
    will you still hold me tonight
    and if I open my heart to you
    and show you my weak side
    what would you do
    would you sell your story to rolling stone
    would you take the children away
    and leave me alone
    and smile in reassurance
    as you whisper down the phone
    would you send me packing
    or would you take me home

    Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings
    Thought I oughta tear the curtain down
    I held the blade in trembling hands
    prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
    I never had the nerve to make the final cut

    Current Mood: okay
    Friday, March 3rd, 2006
    11:35 am
    stuck in this institution

    pointlessly purple


    nothing better to do on the institution's computers.

    Current Mood: fuck everything
    Friday, February 10th, 2006
    11:52 pm
    /\
    (/\)

    Current Mood: happy
    Monday, January 30th, 2006
    11:28 pm
    For Death and New Friends
    The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land
    plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky:
    a man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers
    but awakes to a morning with no reason for waking

    He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
    in his youth or a dream, he can't be precise
    he's chained forever to a world that's departed
    It's not enough, It's not enough

    His blood has frozen & curled with fright
    his knees have trembled & given way in the night
    his hand has weakened at the moment of truth
    his step has faltered

    One world, one soul
    Time pass, the river roll

    And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
    and silent replies that swirl invitation
    flow dark and troubled to any oily sea
    a grim intimation of what is to be

    There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night
    and there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight
    and silence that speaks so much louder than words
    of promises broken.

    Current Mood: pestilent
    Monday, December 26th, 2005
    7:58 pm
    i got a cellphone for xmass, if you ask nicely i'll give you my number.

    "For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian. For all the boots of the tramping warriors and all the garments rolled in blood shall be burned as fuel for the fire."
    Monday, December 5th, 2005
    7:01 pm
    Reply with your name and ...
    1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
    2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
    3. I'll name something we should do together.
    4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
    5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
    6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
    7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
    8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
    Sunday, December 4th, 2005
    5:23 pm
    why
    why not

    memories of thoughts are all i have.
    never knowing if any of them ever were.
    and everything we are is memories.
    of love and hate.

    Such a lonely day
    And it's mine
    The most loneliest day of my life

    And if you go
    I wanna go with you
    And if you die
    I wanna die with you

    Take your hand
    And walk away

    Melt in the sun
    Melt in the sun
    Who wants to come with me and melt in the sun?

    Hide in the sky
    Hide in the sky
    Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky?

    You and me.

    but who are you and who am I.
    and do we know the reason why.
    or does it even matter?
    anymore.

    lifes a whore.
    shes bought and sold.
    and all I do is growing old.
    but i take a step into the cold.
    only to be forced back inside.

    to wait another day and hide.
    watch life go by i sit and bide.
    but what am i waiting for.

    my lonely heart wash up to shore.
    to bleed upon the golden sand
    as i wander empty in this dying land.
    lend a hand. and we will go.

    wherever to, we shall not know.
    just go. go go go.
    Lo! the destination, up ahead.
    once everything is done and said.

    we'll wind up back in our own bed.

    Current Mood: hahahahahahaha
    Monday, November 21st, 2005
    11:21 pm
    today

    so today i had to take a stat test after school and my mom was supposed to pick me up at like 245 but I didnt get out until like 330 and then I walked home in the rain because she wasnt there anymore and when I got home she yelled at me and told me I treated her just like my father and I asked what she meant and she said I showed her no consideration.
    then I got my CD player and CD with MCR, 3 cheers for sweet revenge and then Oasis, Wonderwall and Oasis, Champaigne Supernova and I went to the park and sat on the swing for a while. then I felt like i was gonna throw up so I went over to Suzy's house because I didn't want to go back home. by the time I got there the CD was just about to end.
    Suzy gave me a pair of her brother sweatpants and a t-shirt and sweatshirt of his and I wore them because my clothes were really wet. Then she washed and dried my clothes for me and now I'm wearing them again tomorow (don't worry, I took a shower) because they smell like her (or at least like her detergent.) and then I went home at 8.
    <3 Suzy, thanks.

    It was fine when I got home, only a lil shit from my mom about walking off and something about everything being about my grades, but I still had homework to do so I just went up to my room and worked on that.

    Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
    10:43 am
    i went to bed at 130 last night and got up at 430 this morning, dont ask why.
    got swimpractice and japanese tutor after school then i have to do hw, which really should be illegal.
    in conclusion, i hate you all. even though its not really that bad, i just feel like hating you.

    sory to rini for hurting her finger, hope it bruises nicely.

    well gov is over in couple min, off to apes
    Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
    9:55 am
    keep talking
    "Keep Talking"

    For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals
    Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination
    We learned to talk

    There's a silence surrounding me
    I can't seem to think straight
    I'll sit in the corner
    No one can bother me
    I think I should speak now
    I can't seem to speak now
    My words won't come out right
    I feel like I'm drowning
    I'm feeling weak now
    But I can't show my weakness
    I sometimes wonder
    Where do we go from here

    It doesn't have to be like this
    All we need to do is make sure we keep talking

    Why won't you talk to me
    You never talk to me
    What are you thinking
    What are you feeling
    Why won't you talk to me
    You never talk to me
    What are you thinking
    Where do we go from here

    It doesn't have to be like this
    All we need to do is make sure we keep talking
    Monday, November 14th, 2005
    9:56 pm
    a memory
    "Dad, I'm hungry."
    "ok, what do you want to eat?"
    "you know."
    "No, I don't know, what do you want."
    "The stuff."
    "What stuff?"
    "I don't know what its called."
    "Well what's it like?"
    "Like circles."
    "A donut?"
    "No, smaller."
    "Cheerios."
    Sunday, November 13th, 2005
    10:52 pm
    such is life
    i need a fucking vacation, and not just a break.
    drinking tea, listening to pink floyd.
    did half my math hw, half my gov, none of my japanese but that's 7th so ill just do it in school.
    also just realized i have a japanese project to do for tuesday, don't know what other projects i have.
    been thinking too much lately. thinking about memories and meanings. desires, truth. and sometimes when you think something its like doing it in your mind and it doesn't become as important to do it becaus your mind can fabricate the reality for you and its like youve already done whatever youve thought.
    Thursday, November 10th, 2005
    10:44 pm
    hush
    "YOU JUST BETTER START SNIFFIN' YOUR OWNRANK SUBJUGATION JACK 'CAUSE IT'S JUST YOU AGAINST YOUR TATTERED LIBIDO, THE BANK AND THE MORTICIAN, FOREVER MAN AND IT WOULDN'T BE LUCK IF YOU COULD GET OUT OF LIFE ALIVE"

    Current Mood: ugh
    Sunday, November 6th, 2005
    10:43 pm
    Filth - Today's Lesson
    Here is your lesson for today, you better listen up real fucking good!
    My cloud always has a silver lining, and I
    love everything that I see.
    My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me.

    My cloud always has a silver lining, and I
    love everything that I see.
    My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me.

    You hate yourself, you do,
    You hate yourself, you do,
    You hate yourself, you do,
    That's why, right now I hate you.
    So right now I hate you.

    My cloud always has a silver lining, and I
    love everything that I see.
    My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me

    My cloud always has a silver lining, and I
    love everything that I see.
    My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me

    You hate yourself, you do,
    You hate yourself you do,
    You hate yourself you do.

    That's why right now I can't stand you.
    So right now I hate you.

    Have you learned your lifes lesson yet? No?
    Well let me tell you something.
    I am your teacher you have a lot to learn from me
    you must love yourself
    You are my teacher lots to learn from you,
    Can’t hurt myself to sit still
    That's why, right now I love you...

    You hate yourself, you do,
    You hate yourself you do,
    You hate yourself you do.

    That’s why, right now I love you
    Soo fuck you.
    10:32 pm
    "If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

    When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you."
    Friday, November 4th, 2005
    6:39 pm
    shell of a poem
    wrote at 1230 last night while i was falling asleep, sat up in bed turned on the light and wrote it and turned em back of.

    You allways said you wanted to kick up your heels, but
    I never really knew how to dance, so
    Just take my hand and lead the way,
    Wherever you may go.

    And you never really new how to swim, well
    It isn't really swimming, so much
    Just relax and let me guide you,
    Wherever I may go.

    So sad, that none of us really knew how to live,
    On the inside looking out, no more,
    Walk to the outside, hand in hand,
    Wherever we may go.



    Grandparents got here yesterday and staying 'till wednesday.
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