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| Sunday, April 30th, 2006 | | 1:33 am |
nobody wants to go to the rally for darfur genocide awareness tomorow(today) I sad. anyone who wants to can post here, i might check it sometime in the late morning before i head out, i can give rides. dont think anyones gonna post though. | | Saturday, April 15th, 2006 | | 12:07 am |
Heading back to VA tomorow, had enough of SC. | | Thursday, April 13th, 2006 | | 8:06 pm |
L'etranger
I finished reading "The Stranger" last night. funny how much like Mersault I am. | | Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 | | 10:48 pm |
untitled, written 4/4/06
I love your fat, Even more, and not because You hate it. Not as your mother loved it, Who whipped you into anorexic frenzy. I love to hold on to your fat, As you bitch about your ugly body. And I want to hold tight Your mouth, and nose, Shut you up. Suffocate you, and you start to blue, Such a lovely color. And we would make love At the edge of life and death, Where all things too are blind. You could forget about your shell, For a time. And let me into your soul. comments/suggestions welcome. | | Monday, March 6th, 2006 | | 6:04 pm |
maybe ill post my own writing at some point, not yet
Through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes I can barely define the shape of this moment in time and far from flying high in clear blue skies I'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide If you negotiate the minefield in the drive and beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes and if you make it past the shotgun in the hall dial the combination open the priesthole and if I'm in I'll tell you what's behind the wall There's a kid who had a big hallucination making love to girls in magazines he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith could anybody love him or is it just a grazy dream And if I show you my dark side will you still hold me tonight and if I open my heart to you and show you my weak side what would you do would you sell your story to rolling stone would you take the children away and leave me alone and smile in reassurance as you whisper down the phone would you send me packing or would you take me home Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings Thought I oughta tear the curtain down I held the blade in trembling hands prepared to make it but just then the phone rang I never had the nerve to make the final cut Current Mood:  okay | | Friday, March 3rd, 2006 | | 11:35 am |
| | Friday, February 10th, 2006 | | 11:52 pm |
/\ (/\) Current Mood:  happy | | Monday, January 30th, 2006 | | 11:28 pm |
For Death and New Friends
The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky: a man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers but awakes to a morning with no reason for waking He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise in his youth or a dream, he can't be precise he's chained forever to a world that's departed It's not enough, It's not enough His blood has frozen & curled with fright his knees have trembled & given way in the night his hand has weakened at the moment of truth his step has faltered One world, one soul Time pass, the river roll And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication and silent replies that swirl invitation flow dark and troubled to any oily sea a grim intimation of what is to be There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night and there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight and silence that speaks so much louder than words of promises broken. Current Mood: pestilent | | Monday, December 26th, 2005 | | 7:58 pm |
i got a cellphone for xmass, if you ask nicely i'll give you my number. "For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian. For all the boots of the tramping warriors and all the garments rolled in blood shall be burned as fuel for the fire." | | Monday, December 5th, 2005 | | 7:01 pm |
Reply with your name and ... 1. I'll respond with something random I like about you. 2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 3. I'll name something we should do together. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me). 5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you. 6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you. 7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you. 8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. | | Sunday, December 4th, 2005 | | 5:23 pm |
why why not memories of thoughts are all i have. never knowing if any of them ever were. and everything we are is memories. of love and hate. Such a lonely day And it's mine The most loneliest day of my life And if you go I wanna go with you And if you die I wanna die with you Take your hand And walk away Melt in the sun Melt in the sun Who wants to come with me and melt in the sun? Hide in the sky Hide in the sky Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky? You and me. but who are you and who am I. and do we know the reason why. or does it even matter? anymore. lifes a whore. shes bought and sold. and all I do is growing old. but i take a step into the cold. only to be forced back inside. to wait another day and hide. watch life go by i sit and bide. but what am i waiting for. my lonely heart wash up to shore. to bleed upon the golden sand as i wander empty in this dying land. lend a hand. and we will go. wherever to, we shall not know. just go. go go go. Lo! the destination, up ahead. once everything is done and said. we'll wind up back in our own bed. Current Mood: hahahahahahaha | | Monday, November 21st, 2005 | | 11:21 pm |
today
so today i had to take a stat test after school and my mom was supposed to pick me up at like 245 but I didnt get out until like 330 and then I walked home in the rain because she wasnt there anymore and when I got home she yelled at me and told me I treated her just like my father and I asked what she meant and she said I showed her no consideration.
then I got my CD player and CD with MCR, 3 cheers for sweet revenge and then Oasis, Wonderwall and Oasis, Champaigne Supernova and I went to the park and sat on the swing for a while. then I felt like i was gonna throw up so I went over to Suzy's house because I didn't want to go back home. by the time I got there the CD was just about to end.
Suzy gave me a pair of her brother sweatpants and a t-shirt and sweatshirt of his and I wore them because my clothes were really wet. Then she washed and dried my clothes for me and now I'm wearing them again tomorow (don't worry, I took a shower) because they smell like her (or at least like her detergent.) and then I went home at 8.
<3 Suzy, thanks.
It was fine when I got home, only a lil shit from my mom about walking off and something about everything being about my grades, but I still had homework to do so I just went up to my room and worked on that. | | Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 | | 10:43 am |
i went to bed at 130 last night and got up at 430 this morning, dont ask why. got swimpractice and japanese tutor after school then i have to do hw, which really should be illegal. in conclusion, i hate you all. even though its not really that bad, i just feel like hating you. sory to rini for hurting her finger, hope it bruises nicely. well gov is over in couple min, off to apes | | Tuesday, November 15th, 2005 | | 9:55 am |
keep talking
"Keep Talking" For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination We learned to talk There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I'll sit in the corner No one can bother me I think I should speak now I can't seem to speak now My words won't come out right I feel like I'm drowning I'm feeling weak now But I can't show my weakness I sometimes wonder Where do we go from here It doesn't have to be like this All we need to do is make sure we keep talking Why won't you talk to me You never talk to me What are you thinking What are you feeling Why won't you talk to me You never talk to me What are you thinking Where do we go from here It doesn't have to be like this All we need to do is make sure we keep talking | | Monday, November 14th, 2005 | | 9:56 pm |
a memory
"Dad, I'm hungry." "ok, what do you want to eat?" "you know." "No, I don't know, what do you want." "The stuff." "What stuff?" "I don't know what its called." "Well what's it like?" "Like circles." "A donut?" "No, smaller." "Cheerios." | | Sunday, November 13th, 2005 | | 10:52 pm |
such is life
i need a fucking vacation, and not just a break. drinking tea, listening to pink floyd. did half my math hw, half my gov, none of my japanese but that's 7th so ill just do it in school. also just realized i have a japanese project to do for tuesday, don't know what other projects i have. been thinking too much lately. thinking about memories and meanings. desires, truth. and sometimes when you think something its like doing it in your mind and it doesn't become as important to do it becaus your mind can fabricate the reality for you and its like youve already done whatever youve thought. | | Thursday, November 10th, 2005 | | 10:44 pm |
hush
"YOU JUST BETTER START SNIFFIN' YOUR OWNRANK SUBJUGATION JACK 'CAUSE IT'S JUST YOU AGAINST YOUR TATTERED LIBIDO, THE BANK AND THE MORTICIAN, FOREVER MAN AND IT WOULDN'T BE LUCK IF YOU COULD GET OUT OF LIFE ALIVE" Current Mood: ugh | | Sunday, November 6th, 2005 | | 10:43 pm |
Filth - Today's Lesson
Here is your lesson for today, you better listen up real fucking good! My cloud always has a silver lining, and I love everything that I see. My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me. My cloud always has a silver lining, and I love everything that I see. My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me. You hate yourself, you do, You hate yourself, you do, You hate yourself, you do, That's why, right now I hate you. So right now I hate you. My cloud always has a silver lining, and I love everything that I see. My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me My cloud always has a silver lining, and I love everything that I see. My world is wonderful and no one could ever, ever hurt me You hate yourself, you do, You hate yourself you do, You hate yourself you do. That's why right now I can't stand you. So right now I hate you. Have you learned your lifes lesson yet? No? Well let me tell you something. I am your teacher you have a lot to learn from me you must love yourself You are my teacher lots to learn from you, Can’t hurt myself to sit still That's why, right now I love you... You hate yourself, you do, You hate yourself you do, You hate yourself you do. That’s why, right now I love you Soo fuck you. | | 10:32 pm |
"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you." | | Friday, November 4th, 2005 | | 6:39 pm |
shell of a poem
wrote at 1230 last night while i was falling asleep, sat up in bed turned on the light and wrote it and turned em back of. You allways said you wanted to kick up your heels, but I never really knew how to dance, so Just take my hand and lead the way, Wherever you may go. And you never really new how to swim, well It isn't really swimming, so much Just relax and let me guide you, Wherever I may go. So sad, that none of us really knew how to live, On the inside looking out, no more, Walk to the outside, hand in hand, Wherever we may go. Grandparents got here yesterday and staying 'till wednesday. |
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